The Art of Seduction

The art of seduction has received a bad rap in recent times. Relationship coach mavens dismiss this art as merely a manipulative ploy coated with insincerity and dishonesty. Yes, the art of seduction is readily employed by the rogue hustler, but let’s not toss the baby out with the bath water. Seduction is a juicy art form that builds confidence and connection. It’s empowering. And who doesn’t love to be charmed? Why not remove the stigma associated with seduction and begin to view it as a positive and practical talent?

The Kama Sutra says we need to learn 64 skills to master the art of seduction. The 64 skills are really more about becoming the master of your own life than a master of seduction. The number 64 signifies the totality of life. Hindus divide life into 4 stages. In each stage contains 4 branches of knowledge, making 16 branches of knowledge. In each branch there are 4 disciplines, totaling 64. Mastery of all of the branches is equated with complete mastery of your life.


Are you a traditional seducer incorporating the art of singing, dancing, writing, playing musical instruments, tattooing or composing poems into your repertoire? There are obvious masculine arts such as: the art of weaponry and cock-fighting and feminine arts such as: the art of perfuming the body, making beds, and arranging beds of flowers. Check out the full list at the end of this blog. It’s enertaining, albeit archaic.


Whatever you love and excel at are your sexiest attributes. The art of reading and the culinary arts are a sure-fire way to woo me. And, I had no idea how sexy the art of carpentry could be until my husband started building me a writing cottage. Find your passion and share it with others.


Does your definition of a seduction need an upgrade? A seducer is a person who is in their power, owning their own beauty and in touch with their erotic essence. Seduction is about liberation and personal power. It is not always about sex.

7 Things You Can Learn From the Great Mavericks of Seduction


1. Be Present

The courtesans of the Belle Epoch doted on their patrons with undivided attention. Today we split our attention with devices so frequently it has become acceptable to check texts in the middle of a conversation. Be a heretic and put your cell phone on airplane mode.


2. Be Confident

The art of seduction takes self-confidence. Get out and practice. Compliment the barista and flash your most coquettish grin at the joggers on the hike and bike trail. Make eye contact and smile with your eyes. Kindness coupled with respect makes people feel they are genuinely loved and appreciated.


3. Be Embodied

The ancient seducers were at home in their skins; they understood how to read body language and move their bodies in subtle seduction. If you don’t have a physical practice such as yoga, qigong or dance, take a class. And don’t be afraid to connect. A light touch on the shoulder or a hug upon greeting or departing is endearing. These gestures go a long way in our touch-deprived world.


4. Be Brave

Courage is the ability to walk through fear to face a challenge or overcome an obstacle with resolve. It requires risks. Seducers are audacious and fearless. Well maybe not fearless, but they don’t let it stop them.


5. Be Skilled

Know your stuff and refine your craft to artistry. This takes focus, discipline and self-direction. What you put out is what you get back. How are your communication skills? Communication is an essential skill for connection with others.


6. Be Conspicuous

Pump up the volume and go big. How can you accentuate your charms? This can be done through external accessories and internal vibrancy, add both to be irresistible and radiate like a rockstar. Offer sincere compliments and praise. When you receive one, accept it fully and say, “Thank you, I’m glad you like it.”


7. Be Passionate

I love Latino cultures and their freedom to exude sass and sauciness. There is no need to downplay your natural radiance, be blatantly sexy. Sexual energy is the highest form of energy in the world—cultivate, express, and circulate it. Check out this Ted Talk on the power of seduction by the tantalizing enchantress, dancer, author and entrepreneur, Chen Lizra.


The 64 Arts of the Kama Sutra

  1. Singing

  2. Playing musical instruments

  3. Dancing

  4. Union of dancing, singing, & playing instrumental music

  5. Writing & drawing

  6. Tattooing

  7. Arraying & adorning an idol with rice & flowers

  8. Spreading & arranging beds or couches with flowers, or flowers upon the ground

  9. Coloring the teeth, garments, hair, nails & bodies

  10. Fixing stained glass into a floor

  11. Making beds and spreading carpets & cushions for reclining

  12. Playing on musical glasses filled with water

  13. Storing & accumulating water in aqueducts, cisterns & reservoirs

  14. Picture making, trimming & decorating

  15. Stringing of rosaries, necklaces, garlands & wreaths

  16. Binding of turbans & chaplets, making crests & top-knots of flowers

  17. Scenic representations, stage playing

  18. Making ear ornaments

  19. Preparing perfumes & odors

  20. Proper disposition of jewels & decorations, and adornment in dress

  21. Magic or sorcery

  22. Quickness of hand or manual skill

  23. Culinary arts

  24. Making lemonades, sherbets, acidulated drinks, & spirituous extracts

  25. Tailoring & sewing

  26. Making figures & trinkets out of yarn or thread

  27. Solving of riddles & enigmas

  28. Playing the game of Antakshari

  29. The art of mimicry or imitation

  30. Reading, including chanting & intoning

  31. Study of sentences that are difficult to pronounce, i.e. tongue twisters

  32. Practice with sword, single stick, quarter staff & bow & arrow 

  33. Drawing inferences & reasoning

  34. Carpentry

  35. Architecture & building

  36. Knowledge of gold & silver coins, jewels & gems

  37. Knowledge of chemistry & mineralogy

  38. Coloring jewels, gems & beads

  39. Knowledge of mines & quarries

  40. Gardening & horticulture

  41. Cock fighting, quail fighting & ram fighting

  42. Teaching parrots & starlings to speak

  43. Applying perfumed ointments to the body, and of dressing the hair with unguents & perfumes

  44. Writing in encrypted script

  45. The art of speaking by changing the forms of words

  46. Knowledge of language & of the vernacular dialects

  47. Art of making flower carriages

  48. Art of framing mystical diagrams, of addressing spells & charms, and binding armlets

  49. Mental exercises, such as completing stanzas or verses and composing poems

  50. Knowledge of dictionaries & vocabularies

  51. Disguise

  52. Knowledge of human anatomy & the art of making love

  53. Various ways of gambling

  54. Obtaining possession of the property of others by means of mantras or incantations

  55. Athleticism

  56. Knowledge of the rules of society, and of how to pay respect & compliments to others

  57. Knowledge of the art of war

  58. Knowledge of gymnastics

  59. Knowing the character of a man from his features

  60. Knowledge of scanning or constructing verses

  61. Arithmetical recreations

  62. Making artificial flowers

  63. Making figures & images in clay

  64. Art of massages & spiritual healing


Bella’s Also On:

elephant journal & SoundCloud


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  • Dragonman

    Thank you for your wisdom of human being, appreciation of all things passionate and pleasureful. Thank you for being a renown teacher in the arts of living in expansiveness of being. All blessings to you my Tigress.

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