Sacred Slut: Help, My Husband Lost His Virility!

Dear SS,
 
I have been married to the same man now for ten years. He is ten years my senior. I being 53 and he 63 … Long story short, sex has become nonexistent over the last three years due to impotency. He tried low T therapy, hated it and refuses to go any further. Now the ugly reality is a vibrator and a strap on … I miss having a real man. He makes me feel like a science experiment. No love foreplay or intimacy. What do I do?
 
Despondent Wife


 
Dear Sister,
 
Occasionally a question keeps me up at night; yours is one of them.
Thank you for reaching out. I see you. I hear you. I feel you.
 
First, the good news, you asked for help and energy flows where attention goes. Your situation will change. I know it.
 
I implore you to be the initiator. It’s time to transform your world.
 
The unfortunate news is that your partner isn’t taking your needs into consideration. Three years, girlfriend? That’s a long fucking time to be poked with a softie and cuddling a Hitachi. Any mindful partner would have addressed the sexual needs of their significant other and gone to bat years ago for her needs and their relationship. If he hasn’t done that by now, he probably isn’t going to. It sounds like he’s given up.
 
I have compassion. Originally, I planned to give your husband sexual rejuvenation practices, believing if he dedicated himself to changing, his virility would return. But the hell with it, if he’s interested he can contact me and read my blog, Interview with a Sexual Alchemist. He may also print off and read my free eBook, 27 Tips for Abundant Health. It’s a lifestyle. There ain’t no magic pill.
 
A skilled lover could fuck you into oblivion with a dildo, but I understand your yearning to be penetrated by a man. Nothing replaces the cock in my world. Relationships are complex. We all come with baggage. It’s extremely difficult to counsel someone with little information, so if this doesn’t feel right for you, keep searching.


 

 

Here are some suggestions.

 

Keep your sexual energy flowing! It’s vital to your wellbeing. Please do not allow your own juicy femininity to dry up. Keeping your succulence alive is easier than chasing after it. Think about signing up for a dance class. Belly dance, tantric dance, tango, or salsa class; anything that will feed your sensuality.

 

Take a woman’s workshop that focuses on somatic expression. Your body and spirit need a place to emote and be nourished. I suggest Michaela Boehm’s, The Wild Women Days.

 

Have a heart-to-heart with your man. Tell him how sexually frustrated and miserable you are. With your husband’s blessing, find a way for you to get your immediate sexual needs met. I suggest a tryst with a younger man. Shoot for a stud in his early thirties. And don’t make this a threesome. Make this about you. Get yourself properly fucked so you can think straight again.

 

Write a personal ad with no agenda other than using it as a cathartic practice to discover what you are truly looking for. Spend time with it. Work on it until it sends a current of electricity through you when you read it.

 
It’s time to take care of yourself sister and to take a good hard look at your relationship. It’s time for you to love you! Ask, “Does this serve me?” Ask, “What does my precious aching soul long for?”
 
You can’t change him. But he can. There are a number of treatments for erectile dysfunction. A daily dose of rhodiola rosea extract and eleuthero is a great place to start.
 
Nobody said life would be easy, but it’s far from over. I pray that you’ll be divinely fucked in the near future and I hope to hear back from you bubbling over with good news.

 

 


 

May this poem nourish you and carry you forward:
 
 

The Journey

Mary Oliver

 

One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice–
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
‘Mend my life!’
each voice cried.
But you didn’t stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognised as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do–
determined to save
the only life you could save.

 

 

Keep it Slutty, Make it Sacred.

 

Love,

~SS
 
 
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Showing 2 comments
  • Sherri

    You nailed it my darling. I will keep you informed. Thanks for the advice and the poem.

    ????

    • Bella LaVey

      You are so very welcome! Thank you for sharing dear heart.

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