Sacred Slut: Tender Yoni

 

Dear Sacred,

During the last couple of years sex became very painful for me. My partner and I had always been highly sexual and found a deep, intimate connection there. But with the unexplained pain I was experiencing, we were having almost no sexual contact.

 

When I saw my doctor, she said that my skin had become sensitive and that I had chronic inflammation and dryness in my vaginal area. This was causing micro-tears during sex that felt like hot spots. She recommended creams and changes to products I was using, which is helping slowly, and I can have sex again for short periods of time now.

 

I feel like my vagina is out of practice though and that the re-education process may need to be gradual. Sex can tend to feel clinical because I’m paying attention to whether it hurts or not during intercourse. This leads me to worry sometimes during the encounter more than enjoy it.

 

What can my partner and I do together to re-establish our sexual connection while I get my sensitive skin back into practice in a way that feels safe for me to let go without worrying about whether it will hurt?

 

Sincerely,
Tender Yoni

 

Dear Tender Yoni,

 

Have your progesterone, estrogen and testosterone levels tested. Vaginal dryness affects almost all women at some point in their lives. The lining of the vagina is estrogen sensitive. Low estrogen levels are often the culprit for a dry coochie. You may need a stronger product than what your doctor has prescribed. It is common for the vaginal walls to thin and natural lubrication to decrease in perimenopause. Some women require a vaginal estrogen cream (estriol) to restore the vagina back to its optimal, juicy state. Estriol is a natural estrogen cream beneficial for reducing vaginal thinning and dryness while not promoting the growth of breast or uterine tissue. Fear not little one, you can restore your yoni’s natural suppleness, resilience and moisture!

 

For a natural approach, rub your lady lumps in luscious circles for fifteen minutes a day. Breast massage practices were developed by Daoists women to maintain and enhance their health, beauty and youthfulness.With regular practice you may experience an increase in libido, sexual secretions, greater sensitivity of the nipples, increased firmness in the breasts, a tightening of the vaginal walls, and a reduction in PMS and menopausal symptoms. I have had good results balancing my hormones with breast massage and Chinese herbs from my acupuncturist.Remember Kegel exercises are an important part of any woman’s health regimen. Kegels increases blood flow in your lovely flower and help her remain supple and strong.

 

You can use non-prescription lubrication too. I prefer organic coconut oil over K-Y Jelly. Coconut oil is natural, edible and excellent for your health. To re-establish your sexual connection have your partner take responsibility for oiling your lovely lips. Ask him to suckle your breasts to get the juices flowing. Don’t go straight to intercourse. Make sure your yoni flower is in full bloom before penetration. Have your partner give your sacred grotto EXTRA attention and bring you to orgasm or the edge of orgasm before penetration. Penetrate first with a finger and let your pussy relax around his finger.

 

You’ve understandably build up a little anxiety around sex so go slow, stay connected, and breathe. When you are fully aroused ask your partner to gently penetrate you with his well-lubed lingam and lie in stillness with you. Breathe together and begin with micro-movements. You may find one position feels better than another so explore together. Make a ritual out of it and pretend you’re a virgin again.

Be blessed on your journey!

 

Love,
SS
 
 
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Showing 8 comments
  • Tender Yoni

    Thank you, my dear Sacred Slut. I am so grateful and will forward your reply to my partner.

  • Kaia

    What lovely advice SS! I feel like in my current pregnancy, I may be experiencing some of this hormonal imbalance and sensitivity in my sacred cave too. Any suggestions for doing the breast self massage while my nipples and breasts are very tender and sensitive?

    Love your writing!!! Thank you!

    • Bella LaVey

      Hormones changes in pregnancy commonly cause breast tenderness, darkening areola, nipple protrusion and soreness. Keep massaging your breasts and your nipples to prepare for breastfeeding. Wear cotton sports bras, you may want to sleep in your bra. Avoid any drying soaps. Explore a few different creams and oils until you finds whats soothes you the best. Try Shea butter and olive oil. I know People’s has an organic salve. Drink lots of water, especially in the Texas heat. xo Good luck Mamacita!

  • Tender Yoni

    Thank you, Sacred Slut, for your sensitive and thoughtful reply to my question. There is much here for me to work with, more than I expected and some new ideas that had not been offered before. I am so grateful.

    • Bella LaVey

      It is a joy to be of service to my friends and followers and inspire and support our lovemaking! Thank you for your vulnerability and authentic share.

  • Octavia

    Hi Bella, you probably can’t post product recommendations, but wonderful Austin lady a pomegranate breast oil with essential oils. You can see/feel the difference after only 1-2 uses! I heard a mother talking to another mother about how it made her breasts youthful again, ie, perky like before pregnancy, after she stopped breastfeeding. I happen to know that she makes it magically. http://www.pomegranatebreastoil.com/ Just another resource for you to know about. Men can get benefits too. prevents cancer. xoxoxo!

    • Bella LaVey

      Gratefully it’s my blog and I can post whatever I fucking want to. And, I HIGHLY recommend the pomegranate breast oil. I teach a class called Radical Radiance, or rather I did when I wasn’t writing a book, and sold her oil at my class. Thank you sister for the testimonial. It is magical oil. I keep a bottle in the temple, the bathroom and the bedroom. Blessed be~

  • Bella LaVey

    I just received this information from a women who works with women’s sexual issues. This is a product she endorses that her clients are raving about. “I’ve been turned on to a product that uses stem cell technology and it seems to really work. I HATE the fact that it’s marketed through an MLM because it instantly makes it sound scammy when I bring it up to my customers, but I started carrying it because I talk to so many women that deal with painful sex, dryness and low libido and it seems to actually change the landscape.” http://www.mywellmed.com/loverevolution/vrs/

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